When I Look Into My Looking Glass

When I was a little girl, I took dance class. Just for one year, when I was 4. I'm not sure if taking dance was my idea, or my mother's. Probably my mother's. Anyway, we have a video of my recital. My mom used to love to show it to anyone who came to the house, babysitters, friends, even boyfriends when I was a teenager. And I used to be embarrassed by it, but now, being a mother myself, I see how adorable it is.

I was wearing a little silver leotard, a sequined skirt, all with purple feathery trim. I even had some of those purple feathers in my hair. We were doing a little dance with a hand mirror, supposed to be moving it around. Instead, I decided that it would be a good time to just look at myself in the mirror. Not dance. Make faces at myself. Who cares if there are a couple hundred people watching, right? I did some of the moves, but I kept getting distracted by that mirror.

Well, today I got to watch my daughter Bethany perform in front of a group for the first time. It was a simple song, the older kids were waving flags in a pattern, and the younger kids had hoops with gold streamers to wave back and forth above their heads. About ten seconds into the song, Bethany noticed her streamers were a little tangled. So she stops waving her hoop, trying to untangle them. For over half of the song. She finally started waving it again, and did a great job. I so proud of her, and I'm sure if I had it on video (crazy morning and forgot to grab my camera!), that I would want to show it to everyone.

I couldn't help but think of myself, at just about her age, at my dance recital. Not caring that people were watching. Not caring what people thought of me. Just looking at a reflection.

Empty Bed Blues

This is how I feel most nights.

Except I kind of lay crosswise across the bed, with my head on Eric's pillow. Hogging all the blankets.

I don't like going to bed when he is gone. It's just sad to me, going upstairs by myself. Lying in bed, alone, trying to fall asleep. With only my imagination to keep me company. I hear a sound, I assume there is a serial killer in the house. Or I wonder what Eric is doing, and then I start to worry about him. So usually I stay downstairs, on the computer or reading, until I am almost falling asleep. Then I make my way upstairs. Even then, completely exhausted, I have a hard time to fall asleep.

Really, I should be used to it by now. Eric has been deployed for over 6 months now. We've been married 4 years, and he's been gone nearly half of it. So why does sleeping by myself still bother me so much?

The Very Beginning

I'm sitting here, trying to think of how to start off, something clever or catchy.

All that comes to mind at the moment though, is the song from The Sound Of Music.

Let's start at the very beginning

A very good place to start

When you read you begin with A-B-C

When you sing you begin with Do-Re-Mi

Too bad there isn't a line about how to start a blog.